Let me first state the facts about me. I am not a comic or a superhero nerd. No offence to those who are. I am a girl. And I am not your ‘girl’ girl. By which I mean that I do not spend more money on clothes than my mom spends on grocery the entire year. I do not wear makeup. The only thing I use is Vaseline for my lips because it is so bloody essential if I don’t want to look like a Dracula who just sucked on blood (damn you chapped lips). I do not worship fashion like it was God and I do not read vogue and Cosmo like they were bible! I call myself extra- ordinary by which I mean more ordinary than even normal ordinary and not special ordinary. If I walk past you on a street you would not even turn back and look. My phone is not the most important thing in the world for me. I do not send 100 SMSes per day. And for me Blackberry and Apple are better off being fruits! I own 4 pairs of shoes out of which none are heels just because I seriously think heels are so impractical. I buy a bag every 2 years when my old one gives out and I do not like to gossip about people I know and for the matter the ones I do not know.
Honestly, I do hate girls and I hate boys too, equally stupid and brainless. I have been pretty extra- ordinary my whole life and very happy about it. No I didn’t ever secretly wish I was one of the hot ones, frankly who would want to put in so much effort just to be liked by a bunch of morons who didn’t even matter? So I was my extra- ordinary self up until Holi 2011 which will be a day etched in my memory forever. I think. Think because maybe something new happens to me some other day which is even bigger and better than what happened on this holi and then what happened on this holi might just not be so important anymore and I forget about it. I digress. Back to our main issue at hand. So what happened this great day? I am sure you can’t wait to find out can you? You are one of those meddling in other people’s life types aren’t you? Well if you choose to be it then let the story unfold. Let’s start at the start, where else!
Holi is my least favourite festival. I tend to hate all festivals. I honestly think if we Indians did not celebrate so many holidays, spending so much time and money in it, we would beat US one day! Alas it doesn’t happen. Coming back to holi, as you would have guessed, I do not play holi. As a rule I stay indoors the whole day. It is done not because I am scared but apparently according to my mom- I scare people. 2 years back I was going to the market to see if the stationery shop was open, I urgently needed a new pen. Yes there can be a thing as urgently needing a new pen. Do I make fun of you when you must go to the loo every few hours to check up your kajal because you secretly think that you would look so ugly that people would scream seeing you if it faded or smudged just a tiny bit? So do not laugh at me. I had an important assignment submission the next day and my Reynolds felt tip had started spotting so I needed a new one. This kid on the terrace of a house two houses next to mine threw a water balloon on me. Wrong right? Horrible these children. He got what he deserved then! Went up, shouted on him, shouted on his parents who tired saying- holi hai like that was supposed to be an excuse? See that is the reason for my particular dislike for holi, it justifies hooligan like behaviour!
So anyways, this holi I played. The reason? My best friend since I have been 5, Isha had come from UK. She is doing her post graduation there. Isha and I are completely opposites. She in one of those “girl” girl! The ones I tend to dislike. I guess if I met her after I made up my mind to hate such girls we would have never been friends. But we became friends when all that mattered were the jhulas, the seesaw, the merry go round, playing in the sand, cycling for hours and making tent houses with cardboard and hiding in them from parents. We grew up into quite different girls and then women but that bond we formed during those childhood years, it always stuck and grew. She always knew where I came from and I always knew where she came from. No one understood her better that I and no one understood me better than her. But yes I could never tolerate her friends who were in most ways just like her. I guess even these type of girls have a soul like my Isha did and there was an actual person beyond the ‘Oh my Gods(s)’ and the ‘totally(s)’ but their entire fakeness, who would do the effort to see that soul? And for Isha, well I never really had friends so she never had to deal with anyone. Isha knows I hate holi. She loves holi. Exhibit 1 into how different we really are. So she usually goes out with her bunch of friends who get drunk and then behave like they are 10- throwing eggs and mud at each other apart from the other normal hooliganism. This time she had a fight with her gang (I call them the ‘Fashniacs’....you know fashion plus maniacs..ha). Apparently one girl dated Isha’s ex boyfriend after they broke up and never told her. Isha found this to be wrong, the rest of the ‘Fashniacs’ didn’t see the big deal as she has broken up with that guy and then there was some issue about one of them bitching about Isha to this guy at some party and Isha finding out from a friend, who found out from his brother who found out from his roommate whose girlfriend was friends with the girlfriend of the boy to whom that ‘Fashiniac’ bitched to. Complicated right? All this is very common for them. Isha lost me mid way when she told me this. Well they do say it’s a small world! Aren’t they right? So long story short, Isha was all alone this holi, wanting to play holi and I being her BFF, it was my duty to honour my friend’s wishes, putting them above mine especially because she was in quite a bad state. I did it. I agreed to play with her. I felt like a better person for doing it. Playing for the first time in my life, I googled the previous night about precautions to take to avoid the forsaken colour from sticking on me even after taking a bath! The holi morning I was all set in a no nonsense mood. Rubbing olive oil. Getting dressed from head to toe. Wearing all black. Oh ya, which reminds me, what’s the deal with women wearing white on holi? I mean really. We know they know it all shows when they get wet and they know we know. So basically if you do want to show then just don’t wear anything! Are you now getting why I don’t like ‘girl’ girls? I hope you aren’t one of them for your own sake.
Anyways, coming back, Isha got passes for us for some Bollywood DJ party. We were going with her brother and his friends. Isha’s brother Suraj, is another piece of work. He thinks he is God’s gift to mankind. The Edward Cullen to all wannabe Bella(s) out there. Oh please do not get me started on twilight. Really? A vampire in love with a girl? Have you ever thought how stupid that sounds? It’s like saying a human falls in love with a monkey! A fragile weak monkey! This comparison assuming vampires could even exist! Or you are one of those who suck up to the stories of forbidden love? Ugh. The only thing I wish I could learn from Edward Cullen is how he resists the aroma of Bella’s blood which in his words is too tough for him. Because see, I love reading and in the night I need to drag myself away from the book I am reading just to ensure I sleep on time! And it’s very hard, so maybe Edward could teach me a few tricks on resistance. Again I digress. I do that a lot don’t I?
Well yes, so Isha’s brother Suraj (I call him Bhai), he 3 years elder to us. He is one of those guys who I classify as the ones who want to waste their life drinking, smoking up and hooking up with women if they get lucky. But he is very possessive about Isha and so are his friends. So it was a safe group to go with. When we reached there, I immediately hated it. A big farm house, hundreds of people running around with colours, throwing each other in inflatable pools, squirting water guns at just about everyone including people they don’t know and to top it all..loud music! I went all frigid and sat in one corner near the entrance where I felt safe.
“Come na, what you doing sitting? Are you mad?” asked Isha.
“Look at all this; it looks like WW III only the guns and artillery has been replaced with colours and water guns! You go ahead and meet me here when you are done,” I replied.
“Nooooo, you can’t do this, we have come here to have fun. Please, pretty please??? You promised you would come,” pleaded Isha.
“But I did come, see I am here, inside the entrance, so I did come. You go with bhai and his friends na,” I replied.
“Dude, you need to loosen up, come let’s get you some bhang,” said one of bhai’s ‘whathisname’ friend.
“Bhang? No but no thanks! I do not take such intoxicants to alter my sense of reality. I am very happy in the reality which actually is the reality so I do not need to change it by intake of chemical substances or your so called natural substances!” I replied angrily. I hate alcohol, drugs and yes the smoking up(s). Even weed is a drug, it isn’t a relaxant, if it was it would be legal you dumb idiot! See it is already eating on your brain cells!
“Fuck! This chick needs some bhang in her, look at her talking, I didn’t even get half of it,” said one of bhai’s ‘myhairiselectrocuted’ friend.
“Actually, Ria, let’s get you some bhang,” said bhai.
I couldn’t believe he would also start with this. He and Isha know me. I mean....
“Riaaaaaa, everyone is right, what’s holi without bhang..come come lets go and have some fun know,” said Isha, grabbing my hand and pulling me.
I was shocked. I mean how could these people ask me to do all this. They know how I am.
“You know I won’t, I only came to give you company!” I replied.
“Ria, what company will you be by sitting here? You promised yaar, you promised and you are doing this..you are leaving me alone..you can’t even do one thing..I never ask you to do all these things but once I ask you, can’t you just..” Isha said when bhai’s ‘iwearmypantssolowbecauseiwantyoutoseemyunderwear’ friend cuts her.
“Guys, hurry this shit up really. It’s hot here and I came to play holi. If she doesn’t want to play leave her, I don’t get why she came.”
Bloody idiot! Who does he think he is? What does he mean leave me? Does he not know what friendship is?
“Ria, please? Do this one thing for me?” said Isha making those puppy dog faces. I hated it on everyone else. But when she does the entire ‘pouting the lips and saying please’ act, I just can’t take it. For her I am an emotional suck up and she knows it. Well what the hell!!
“Okay, let’s go!” I replied.
“YAYYY,” said Isha, jumping up and down and then hugging me and making me jump up and down. I mean do we really need to act like we were 5 again?
What followed was a round of massive bhang drinking. I never planned to make it massive. It is just that I had it and it was so yum. It was like Kesar milk!!! And I didn’t feel anything. So I kept having it, thinking I was probably resistant to alcohol effect, it wouldn’t be impossible right. I was so extra-ordinary! One glass, two glass, three glass, four glass, five glass and then I was dancing on the rain dance floor. WHOAAA. Excuse me! Yes, that is when it hit me, after 30 minutes of dancing in the rain did I stop and realise I was dancing. ME. Yes. Me!! Well I stopped. What followed was the trippiest experience of my entire life. I used to think that trippy was a word only stoners would use. Well there is an exception for everything. So when I tried to stop dancing and went to the loo, washed my face, I realized I was washing my face again and again. Haha. I was going out to run to the dance floor to Isha when some of bhai’s friends intercepted me and threw me into the pool. At that time I burst out giggling. Giggling. Me. Yes! Finally after being rubbed with colour and rubbing colour on about ten people out of which I am sure I knew none, I found my way back to Isha and the dance floor. Looking into her eyes I could see she was as tripped out as me, dancing all alone. I tried to say something to her but I could just hear the music specially the beats so much higher so I quit trying and just went on dancing. I felt I had the energy of all Red Bulls in this world!! Minutes became hours and I didn’t even notice. Isha and I went on dancing. Somewhere the sun became less sharp and the music stopped. Bhai came to get us and we went to eat food at the food stall. I remember my body feeling as heavy as it was made of metal. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. At that time it was freaky, in retrospect it is quite hilarious. I could hear music even though there was none playing. I was swaying my head to beats that didn’t exist and then people around me were laughing and I also started laughing. Paranoia about my surroundings soon followed and I felt everything bad in the world would happen to us. I worried about the safety of my parents and irritated bhai till he called them and made them speak to me. Somehow they managed to get Isha and me home. She was staying over. My parents did give us weird looks but didn’t say much. I guess they probably were glad that their daughter loosened up a bit. We took a shower and slept.
Next time I woke up it was dark and when I checked on my laptop I realize it was the other night after holi! I had managed to sleep more than one day! Isha wasn’t there so I assumed she left. I felt no hangover and I remembered everything form holi day. I went to the loo to straighten my appearance before I met Ma Pa and told them the story of holi day. While washing my face I realized a green spot of colour on my right jaw bone. It was the size of a finger tip. I put soap on it. It would not come off. I rubbed it. It wouldn’t budge. It was crazy. It was not even fading! There was detergent lying in one of the drawers. I even put it. It just would not move! And there was no colour anywhere else!! Then mom walked in.
“Beta, where are you, loo?” said mom.
“Hi ma, door is open, you can come,” I replied.
Mom walked in the loo and said, “Finally you are up. Had fun? You slept like you haven’t slept your entire life. We tried to wake you up but you wouldn’t budge. Suraj told us you had bhang and your father and I remember our experiences from bhang so we weren’t scared and let you sleep it off.”
My parents and bhang! These are my parents. Sometime I wonder if I was adopted! I was still rubbing.
“What are you doing?” asked mom curiously looking at me rubbing that spot with a towel.
“Ohho ma, I have this colour spot left, it won’t go, I tried everything but it doesn’t even fade! See!” I replied.
“Haan,” she said looking at it, “but it’s quite light, give it time beta it will fade on its own, holi colour is like this only.”
“No ma it’s irritating,” I said furiously rubbing.
“Let me have a look,” said mom.
I turned my right side towards her. She rubbed it with her finger. I felt a spark. Something happened. I could not pin point what exactly but something went off in me.
“Beta, what do you want? Anything for you! Tell me one thing, I will do it for you, tell please,” said mom.
HUH!!
“Ma what are you saying,” I replied in confusion.
“No beta one thing, please ask, I need to do one thing for you, one thing, please please please,” she pleaded like a little kid.
What was with her? I just didn’t get it!
“Maaaa, what are you saying? What’s wrong with you? Did you also have bhang?! Uff, I am hungry, I need food!” I replied agitated
“Food? Food it is for your darling! Your favourite I am going to make!” she replied and ran off before I could stop her.
Parents! Who knew what they were upto. I didn’t give it much thought at exactly that moment. But this is when my super power first manifested! Yes super power. I will not bore you with how then I went to my dad to show him the spot and then he touched it and went ahead asking me the one thing I want form him. How thinking my parents had gone crazy I went to Isha’s house and same thing happened with her entire family! So it turned out whoever touched my green spot would want to do one thing for me. Once they did it they would carry on like it never happened!
Weird but cool right? I did think it was a bad dream but when I woke up the next morning it happened with my mom again. And then I knew something weird happened with me on holi.
Maybe it was the extra-ordinary me having bhang or just playing with colours, I do not know. But my body reacted in ways I can’t explain to something on holi. Or maybe it was the sleeping so much. I hardly have ever slept more than 4 hours on one day! I do not know! And I do not wish to be a science experiment. Which super hero ever announced his power? All I know is that I have this green spot which if you touch, you will want to fulfil my one want. Kind of like you become my genie with one wish. It is quite cool.
I do not know what all I can make people do. It’s been only two days since I discovered it and till know I have just got people to do small things like getting me chocolate, not playing their music so high, buying me novels, speaking to me nicely, etc. I told Isha about it. Then to show it, I called bhai and made him call his ‘iwearmypantssolowbecauseiwantyoutoseemyunderwear’ friend and abuse him for being rude to me on holi. You think I would forget that? No way! Ha.
I am sure I can push this further but till now I haven’t tried. I don’t know if I will. Will I use my power for the greater good? Who knows? Will I even ever use it or carry on my life ignoring it. In some spider man story they said with great power comes great responsibility. I am not sure if I want any responsibility. As I said I am happy being very extra-ordinary. But then again, it would be fun to see you not wear kajal one day..for me..come on..you would want to do that for me..once..come on..rub the green spot! ;)
