The YY Sex & Kids ©

Let me just say it.

Should I?

As I type my thoughts, I can already imagine the reaction my statement is going to get.

Okay so here it goes.

I am 26 years old and I do not have a soft spot for kids. I do not find kids cute. I never have had a desire to hold a kid. No such desire to play with them. Usually when I see a kid I tend to walk away in the other direction.

Are you gasping? Or are you wondering what is wrong with me? Both?

Or is it possible that some of you are even saying ‘me too’? I hope so. I really do.

During a recent ‘cleaning attack’ I found this photo of my mom holding my brother surrounded by my maternal grandparents. When I took this photo to my mom to show and reminisce, my mom pointed out how she was my age in this photo and her parents her current age. Intended or not it made me realize that I was 26 years old, single and obviously childless. Something that was unthinkable in my mom’s era. The perfect marriageable age for girls was considered to be 21-22 years and anyone above that was considered ‘too old’.

How much have things changed in the last 25 years?

Our parents are more tolerable. They will usually not push us at 21-22 years to get married. Marrying their girl child directly after she is done with her studying is not the norm anymore. Is it because they now get the need for women to have careers or is it because in today’s unstable world with high rate of divorces they want their daughters to be prepared for the worst? Sometimes I really wonder.

What about having babies? Has anything changed there?

What was the earlier norm? Get married and have kids within the next 2 years? I really do not think that has changed. Obviously because the marriageable age has been pushed and so the age when you have kids but no matter when you get married, immediately after marriage you will be pressurized indirectly or even directly to have kids. And that is what scares me. Because unless getting married makes one fall in love with kids I do not get how I will be to my kid?

When I was younger and I did not have a special spot for kids my mom thought it was normal because kids signified responsibility and care and I never had a younger sibling or even a younger cousin. I was used to being taken care of rather taking care of someone. So she naturally assumed that it would happen over time. At that time I was too busy wanting to be an adult/wanting independence/rebelling against my parents so I could not care (how I wish I could go back to that time). But now I honestly do. So is it because I have not taken care of anyone per se? Well I would surely not like to believe that. I have taken care of family members and friends on various occasions. I have taken care of my dogs on various occasions. Infact for one who I got as my birthday gift I was solely responsible for her first initial months of feeding and training (and yes she is a beauty and awesomely trained now..yay). So what is it?

Was I born with a missing something? Y and a half Y?

Or is that kids signify the ultimate responsibility and somewhere deep in my subconscious that scares me and hence manifests itself as not finding kids cute and wanting to stay away from them (psychology 101)?

I can’t seem to decode this. I really hope I am not alone in this.

Maybe things will change. Maybe they will not. Maybe these feelings will go away. But living in this country that I do will I ever be given the freedom to act on basis of these feeling? Will I ever be given the freedom to decide when I want a kid and whether or not I even want one? That I doubt.