So let me admit this straight away. I am a bit of a know-it-all. I am. A tiny bit. My boyfriend will disagree on the tiny part but let’s leave the extend to be discussed another day.
So this know-it-all is especially present when it comes to psychology. That also human and dogs. Somewhere in the back of my head I do consider myself somewhat of an expert. I have never even taken a class on it. Ever. I believe somethings come inherent to you. If fashion and style can be so inherent why can’t something like psychology be? Right? Some people are just more attune to this stuff okay. Feelings, emotions, characters etc. etc. As for dog psychology, I had 3 dogs. So there.
So yes that’s me. A very non typical know-it-all ‘pretend’ expert on psychology. Atleast in my head.
So I was going about living my life thinking I knew all about myself. How could I not? It was me! I had to know all about myself.
I often felt sorry about people who wanted to ‘discover’ themselves, what fools I thought.
“You have known you your entire life and if you still haven’t figured it out, it really might never happen. Best of luck for all your other relationships.”
My inner voice is quite sarcastic and a bit of a bigger know-it-all b****. I apologize on her behalf. No I do not have a double personality. We all have an inner voice okay.
One of the things I was sure about was that I was a people’s person. An extrovert. I thrived around people. I loved their company.
And then one day I read an article a friend of mine had posted on her Facebook wall titled ‘27 problems only introverts will understand’ (Link- http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand) and it all changed. I did not know all about myself.
I read it on the passing. And as each point went ahead I realized how relatable those points were to me and things I did in passing. It shocked me. What did it mean? Was I an introvert? All my habits did reflect the same.
In my 26 years of existence I have never pended myself down for an introvert. Nor has my family or my teachers or my colleagues. So could they all have been wrong?
I loved going out and had my own set of friends who I loved talking to. So wasn’t that what makes me an extrovert? ‘An outgoing and friendly person’. The classic definition of an extrovert. That was me!
But here were the realities-
- I like talking to people. But people are usually my selective group of friends. And even within this group is my super selective group of friends who I can speak to on a day to day basis. Trust me that number is really low.
- I do talk on the phone, albeit rarely. Whatsapp (and text messaging in earlier times) is my preferred form of communication. Message me. I am usually available and will usually reply in a matter of minutes. Call me and I might not answer. I feel I need to be mentally prepared to speak to someone on the phone be it my best friend. It seems like a task to speak on the phone. Often I do not answer because I am mentally not prepared to do ‘voice’ talk to them. With messaging I am more comfortable but sometimes I am in a zone and will usually take a lot of time before replying and kill the purpose of the word ‘instant’ messaging in instant. Chats I can’t do. At all.
- I like going out. But I have my own timings & days. Like post work weekdays I do not like doing. I feel I have spoken to enough people in the day and have no energy to interact with anyone anymore and want to just go home. So I often fake sleepiness. But in reality you will find me up till 2-3 AM even on a weekday in my bed reading a book or writing or watching the latest sitcom. Then come Sundays. Sundays are my recharge days which I prefer doing nothing but sitting in my bed reading a book or writing or watching the latest sitcom.
- I like meeting new people. But in a limit. And usually in known circumstances. How do I define ‘known’ circumstances? Like during student life, like on start of a new college year. During start of a new job. During start of a new hobby class. So if you think of it, I will possibly not be making any new friends anymore.
- I like parties. But I prefer smaller parties where I know the people I am meeting. I prefer it even more if the people on the invitation list are my group of closest friends who I already hang out with (reiterating point about me not making any new friends anymore). I hate it when the host of the party introduces me to someone new and walks away because that usually means I will have to carry out conversation with this person I do not know for atleast a few minutes before I can pretend I got a call and walk away. It often feels like work talking to people!
- When I come home from work I do not like it if there are guests over at home. I prefer going home, saying hi to my mommy, meeting my lovely doggies, changing and then crashing on the bed, reading a book or writing or watching the latest sitcom (I do feel me and my laptop can have the perfect relationship).
- If you ask me to pick between going out and staying home, I will mentally pick staying home a lot of times. Doing what you ask? Sitting on my bed, reading a book or writing or watching the latest sitcom (my sitcom collection is the bomb, I should start charging people when they ask for my hard drive, I could make a hell lot of money, that is how huge my sitcom collection is).
So am I an introvert? I do tend to do a lot of things on that list.
Is it really that simple? You are either this or that? Can’t personalities have grey areas too? Maybe I was just a less social extrovert? Or a more social introvert?
I think here I have ka-boomed on a new personality called the ‘ExtroIntrovert’ (and again you will see the reflection of my know-it-all personality here).
But I am sure it’s a thing. Again I hope I am not the only one there. Anymore of our kind out there? Think about it. We all (yes we all includes me) do not know ourselves as well as we think we do. Some facets of our personality are rarely visible even to our ownselves.
No more laughing on people who want to discover themselves, I have newfound respect for you :P
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