So I dated a wizard. You read harry potter, saw that show with that little “whats-her-name” hot girl on Disney and you think it’s all cool? Well I have news flash for you buddy- NOT SO MUCH FUN! Well yes you do get to ride on the broomstick which was like a dream come true though I still didn’t quite understand how we managed to stick on that stick thin thing, with just two hands, so high up in the sky going on mind blowing speeds! I wonder why wizards never had accidents on those things. I asked my Ex when he was not so Ex, he just laughed it off!
Continuing with the good side of dating wizards, I would get gifts that would appear out of nowhere, he would come to my room in the night without my flatmates ever knowing, we would go on dates to Paris and go clubbing in Mumbai. What more could a 24 year old girl ask for right? And not like he was not easy on the eyes. He was very easy on the eyes. 6 feet 2 inches, body of an athlete..you know the one that is proportionately toned but not over muscular, broad shoulders, the brownest spell binding eyes with the smoldering gaze, a tight jaw line, cheekbones that seemed like you could cut cheese on them and the best part- he dressed like he was Brad Pitt. Most of that was thanks to his twin sister who should be given an award in helping humanity because we all know, a well dressed on top of an already good looking guy is like the icing on a good cake, without it no one would want the cake and it would just not even look that appealing!
Well okay I admit it, it was good while it was good. When it got bad, it got worse. As good as having a wizard for the boy you love is, that much horrible it is having a wizard for the guy you loved AKA whose heart you broke into tiny little pieces and then crushed them further with a bat and then just threw them in the ocean (his words). In my defence, I didn’t really do that much bad. It was just that we had been fighting a lot lately. He being a wizard and me being a human, having such different upbringings and social life was taking its toll. The whole spark of ‘oh my boyfriend is a glorified magician’ was wearing off. So after this one major fight about something related to him zapping us to the top of Eiffel Tower just five minutes after we did the deed, okay trust me it sounds sweet but it isn’t. There you are, in your bare minimums..yes he did put the invisibility hex on us but that’s for others right? I still felt naked!.. standing on top of the Eiffel tower. Really, for once it would be so much hard for him to be normal and just cuddle? It was like he was always trying to show off his powers to impress me. I was already impressed so cut it out! So I decided I could not take it anymore, it was 6 months and for me that was more than enough. To think of it, I don’t think I was ever in love ‘love’ with him. I think it was more in awe of him and in love with what he could do.
The wizard obviously thought I would realize my mistake and take him back so he waited, followed me around for days. It finally did become clear to him that I wasn’t coming back when I hooked up with the hottie from marketing the other day which was a week after I dumped the wizard. But that didn’t stop him. Then he started with the begging to take him back. I guess even wizard boys forget self respect. Ever wondered what it is about men, when you want them to forget the ego and go all down for you they refuse to even acknowledge they have ego but the minute you leave them, they forget their entire ego and become babies? Anyways, then gifts started appearing in the most magical ways. Sometimes in my office, under my pillow before I slept, on my side table when I woke up and so on. There was this instance when I stepped into the metro, just saw him and before I knew it we were sitting in a bistro in Venice! Here I want to run from this guy and he is taking me to Venice? Without my permission!!! Then he became even more annoying (like that was possible), he would sneak into my room and watch me! I knew he was there under his invisibility charm because after spending 6 months with him I would know the signs..the smell of his cologne, hear him bumping on things accidently, etc. He started following me everywhere like that. When I would try to go somewhere alone with the hottie from marketing, I always knew he was there. Then believe it or not but it got ever worse. Whenever I and the hottie were together, bad annoying things would happen. Like the other day we went for a 2300 hours show of a movie which was on for 4 weeks, on a weekday and the hall was full! Even the ticket issuer guy was shocked. Then once, the hottie planned to take me for dinner to the most happening restaurant that had just opened up and when we reached we got to know that apparently they didn’t have our reservation. Hottie was obviously confused. Ofcouse I knew why that happened. This isn’t it! Hottie got me a box of chocolates and when he went to grab them from the back seat of his car they were not there! And even this isn’t all. So you see why my ex-boy friend has become a pain in the butt? Atleast the normal ones you can ignore. This one I can’t!
I have decided I need to put a stop to it because this is seriously denting my style and clearly asking him to won’t be of any use. It’s been a month and he still has not moved on! When your ex is a wizard one needs to step up the game. So that is exactly what I am going to do! I am going to make him not want to be with me anymore. Wait and watch. I have the plan in mind. I text the wizard that I want to meet him and talk to him. I am glad wizards don’t have a spell to read peoples mind! I fixed up a place that was public as well as private. I didn’t want him to create a scene and I know he wouldn’t dare infront of people and I still wanted there not to be so many people so that I could talk to him properly. So I fixed up Arthouse. It was the perfect place. The wizard was very curious and asked me to give him a heads up on text but I told him that he would have to wait. Time to get ready to kill in my casual best. A pair of light blue skin tight jeans with the ‘oh so casual’ tee that cleverly accentuated my already thin waist line and all the other right curves. To add the slight touch of glamour came out the black Jimmy Choos. 2 inches heels, enough to walk comfortably in yet long enough to give me that perfect height. Finished it off with the star earnings and kohl on my eyes. Adding a little gloss never did anyone harm. Done. Isn’t it fun getting ready? It’s my favourite activity of the day! 30 minutes, a metro and auto ride plus a hassle over the meter later I was in Promenade, making my way to Arthouse. I knew I was 10 minutes late and given the wizard and his punctuality I knew he would have already reached and would have used his entire will power till now to not text or call me to ask me where I was. Obviously he doesn’t want to piss off a girl over coming late when he thinks she might give him another chance. As I am standing outside Arthouse I see him sitting there looking as stylish as a man can look without looking gay, hookah already ordered and if I know men be them wizards, it will be my favourite flavour- Mint.
“Hey,” I say as I sit next to him.
“Hi, you look stunning,” he replied getting up and sitting when I sat. The wizard would get 10/10 for chivalry. He always does those things that most men don’t think are important enough and he compliments at the perfect times, you know the time where it doesn’t seem forced and fake.
“I ordered the hookah for us, your favourite flavour and the diet Pepsi is on its way along with the Panini you like so much,” he said.
WOW. This is even better than I thought. Too bad I already moved on else I could have actually considered him again..atleast for a bit.
“Thanks, you didn’t have to,” I replied as sweetly as I could. In the meanwhile our drinks and food came. After taking a couple of bites and sipping on my Pepsi I realized it was getting too quite. Time for the talk.
“So listen, what I have to say, is not easy for me, much like it was not easy for you to tell me that you are a wizard and trust me to keep the secret. Let me talk and then you can say what you want, okay?”
“Umm, okay, go on,” he replied.
“Okay, well, see this might make me look like..a bad person..I don’t know..I just know, I am a confused girl woman, trying to fit into this world and sometimes what we feel, for who we feel, it just can get confusing..”
“What do you mean, I don’t get it. I already knew you were dating someone, so it’s not something you need to tell me, I know, is that why you called me? To tell me formally? Haven’t you hurt me enough that you want to put me through this?” he replied angrily.
“Relax, I said listen to me. Let me finish and then talk. Told you it’s not easy for me to say this and from all the people, you should understand that,” I replied faking irritation mixed with little emotional hurt.
“Sorry, carry on,” he replied.
Always work, that voice with slightly moist eyes and just a little bit of pouty lips.
“Yes, so see, since I have been a kid, more like since I hit puberty, I have always been very sexually curious. So you see, well, okay I will just say it.”
“You are scaring me, please just get to it,” he says.
“I like you sister.”
“WHAT!??” he screams. People turn and look at us. He blushes. Lowering his voice he continues, “What are you saying, is this a joke?”
“Look, it’s her I saw at the club when we met. Before we met on the bar I saw her in the loo. It was her who I wanted to talk to. But you know I just never had the guts. I mean, I have never been with girls, attracted to them all my life but never been with them. I am scared of what world will think and how my parents will react. They will probably disown me.”
The wizard’s face had gone white.
“Are you listening to me? Have water please, now you are scaring me.” I had to get this over with, so I continued, “so when I saw you, because you are twins there was so much resemblance that I couldn’t stop myself from talking to you. I thought if I got to know you, I would get to know her, I know it was wrong. But I did it. And I like men too. So somewhere along the way I fell for you too. But you reminded me so much of her and she was around so much, that after a while I realized I couldn’t do this to myself and ofcourse it was never fair on you. I felt like a horrible person. So I ended it before I hurt you and me further and started seeing the guy from office because I needed to get her out of my system. I am not ready to face the world with my secret. I am not. I don’t have those guts. So I had to do it. I know it sounds sick and is probably a little sick, me liking your sister. But trust me I never meant it, you know how the heart works, one has no control over it. I wish I..”
“Stop,” the wizard cut me off and put his hand on my knee. “Enough. It’s okay. What you did was wrong and you are right, a little sick. But more than anyone else I know what it is like to want to keep a secret so bad even though you hate not being able to be who you are infront of the entire world. So I get it. But I just can’t look at you or talk to you anymore. You did hurt me. It helps to know your reasons but it also makes me feel sick. Sorry. I need to leave, will take care of the bill inside. Bye. Have a nice life.”
The wizard got up and left without making any scene. I didn’t try to stop him. I was done acting. If we carried on a little longer I would get so carried away that I would start crying and get passionate about my bisexual story.
Ahhhh! The sweet smell of freedom from ex. I looked at my watch, it was only 9PM on a beautiful Saturday night and the hookah was still pretty much going. Time to call the hottie and spice it up. Men! They can be such suckers. I gotta a feeling that tonight’s going to be a good night~
Continuing with the good side of dating wizards, I would get gifts that would appear out of nowhere, he would come to my room in the night without my flatmates ever knowing, we would go on dates to Paris and go clubbing in Mumbai. What more could a 24 year old girl ask for right? And not like he was not easy on the eyes. He was very easy on the eyes. 6 feet 2 inches, body of an athlete..you know the one that is proportionately toned but not over muscular, broad shoulders, the brownest spell binding eyes with the smoldering gaze, a tight jaw line, cheekbones that seemed like you could cut cheese on them and the best part- he dressed like he was Brad Pitt. Most of that was thanks to his twin sister who should be given an award in helping humanity because we all know, a well dressed on top of an already good looking guy is like the icing on a good cake, without it no one would want the cake and it would just not even look that appealing!
Well okay I admit it, it was good while it was good. When it got bad, it got worse. As good as having a wizard for the boy you love is, that much horrible it is having a wizard for the guy you loved AKA whose heart you broke into tiny little pieces and then crushed them further with a bat and then just threw them in the ocean (his words). In my defence, I didn’t really do that much bad. It was just that we had been fighting a lot lately. He being a wizard and me being a human, having such different upbringings and social life was taking its toll. The whole spark of ‘oh my boyfriend is a glorified magician’ was wearing off. So after this one major fight about something related to him zapping us to the top of Eiffel Tower just five minutes after we did the deed, okay trust me it sounds sweet but it isn’t. There you are, in your bare minimums..yes he did put the invisibility hex on us but that’s for others right? I still felt naked!.. standing on top of the Eiffel tower. Really, for once it would be so much hard for him to be normal and just cuddle? It was like he was always trying to show off his powers to impress me. I was already impressed so cut it out! So I decided I could not take it anymore, it was 6 months and for me that was more than enough. To think of it, I don’t think I was ever in love ‘love’ with him. I think it was more in awe of him and in love with what he could do.
The wizard obviously thought I would realize my mistake and take him back so he waited, followed me around for days. It finally did become clear to him that I wasn’t coming back when I hooked up with the hottie from marketing the other day which was a week after I dumped the wizard. But that didn’t stop him. Then he started with the begging to take him back. I guess even wizard boys forget self respect. Ever wondered what it is about men, when you want them to forget the ego and go all down for you they refuse to even acknowledge they have ego but the minute you leave them, they forget their entire ego and become babies? Anyways, then gifts started appearing in the most magical ways. Sometimes in my office, under my pillow before I slept, on my side table when I woke up and so on. There was this instance when I stepped into the metro, just saw him and before I knew it we were sitting in a bistro in Venice! Here I want to run from this guy and he is taking me to Venice? Without my permission!!! Then he became even more annoying (like that was possible), he would sneak into my room and watch me! I knew he was there under his invisibility charm because after spending 6 months with him I would know the signs..the smell of his cologne, hear him bumping on things accidently, etc. He started following me everywhere like that. When I would try to go somewhere alone with the hottie from marketing, I always knew he was there. Then believe it or not but it got ever worse. Whenever I and the hottie were together, bad annoying things would happen. Like the other day we went for a 2300 hours show of a movie which was on for 4 weeks, on a weekday and the hall was full! Even the ticket issuer guy was shocked. Then once, the hottie planned to take me for dinner to the most happening restaurant that had just opened up and when we reached we got to know that apparently they didn’t have our reservation. Hottie was obviously confused. Ofcouse I knew why that happened. This isn’t it! Hottie got me a box of chocolates and when he went to grab them from the back seat of his car they were not there! And even this isn’t all. So you see why my ex-boy friend has become a pain in the butt? Atleast the normal ones you can ignore. This one I can’t!
I have decided I need to put a stop to it because this is seriously denting my style and clearly asking him to won’t be of any use. It’s been a month and he still has not moved on! When your ex is a wizard one needs to step up the game. So that is exactly what I am going to do! I am going to make him not want to be with me anymore. Wait and watch. I have the plan in mind. I text the wizard that I want to meet him and talk to him. I am glad wizards don’t have a spell to read peoples mind! I fixed up a place that was public as well as private. I didn’t want him to create a scene and I know he wouldn’t dare infront of people and I still wanted there not to be so many people so that I could talk to him properly. So I fixed up Arthouse. It was the perfect place. The wizard was very curious and asked me to give him a heads up on text but I told him that he would have to wait. Time to get ready to kill in my casual best. A pair of light blue skin tight jeans with the ‘oh so casual’ tee that cleverly accentuated my already thin waist line and all the other right curves. To add the slight touch of glamour came out the black Jimmy Choos. 2 inches heels, enough to walk comfortably in yet long enough to give me that perfect height. Finished it off with the star earnings and kohl on my eyes. Adding a little gloss never did anyone harm. Done. Isn’t it fun getting ready? It’s my favourite activity of the day! 30 minutes, a metro and auto ride plus a hassle over the meter later I was in Promenade, making my way to Arthouse. I knew I was 10 minutes late and given the wizard and his punctuality I knew he would have already reached and would have used his entire will power till now to not text or call me to ask me where I was. Obviously he doesn’t want to piss off a girl over coming late when he thinks she might give him another chance. As I am standing outside Arthouse I see him sitting there looking as stylish as a man can look without looking gay, hookah already ordered and if I know men be them wizards, it will be my favourite flavour- Mint.
“Hey,” I say as I sit next to him.
“Hi, you look stunning,” he replied getting up and sitting when I sat. The wizard would get 10/10 for chivalry. He always does those things that most men don’t think are important enough and he compliments at the perfect times, you know the time where it doesn’t seem forced and fake.
“I ordered the hookah for us, your favourite flavour and the diet Pepsi is on its way along with the Panini you like so much,” he said.
WOW. This is even better than I thought. Too bad I already moved on else I could have actually considered him again..atleast for a bit.
“Thanks, you didn’t have to,” I replied as sweetly as I could. In the meanwhile our drinks and food came. After taking a couple of bites and sipping on my Pepsi I realized it was getting too quite. Time for the talk.
“So listen, what I have to say, is not easy for me, much like it was not easy for you to tell me that you are a wizard and trust me to keep the secret. Let me talk and then you can say what you want, okay?”
“Umm, okay, go on,” he replied.
“Okay, well, see this might make me look like..a bad person..I don’t know..I just know, I am a confused girl woman, trying to fit into this world and sometimes what we feel, for who we feel, it just can get confusing..”
“What do you mean, I don’t get it. I already knew you were dating someone, so it’s not something you need to tell me, I know, is that why you called me? To tell me formally? Haven’t you hurt me enough that you want to put me through this?” he replied angrily.
“Relax, I said listen to me. Let me finish and then talk. Told you it’s not easy for me to say this and from all the people, you should understand that,” I replied faking irritation mixed with little emotional hurt.
“Sorry, carry on,” he replied.
Always work, that voice with slightly moist eyes and just a little bit of pouty lips.
“Yes, so see, since I have been a kid, more like since I hit puberty, I have always been very sexually curious. So you see, well, okay I will just say it.”
“You are scaring me, please just get to it,” he says.
“I like you sister.”
“WHAT!??” he screams. People turn and look at us. He blushes. Lowering his voice he continues, “What are you saying, is this a joke?”
“Look, it’s her I saw at the club when we met. Before we met on the bar I saw her in the loo. It was her who I wanted to talk to. But you know I just never had the guts. I mean, I have never been with girls, attracted to them all my life but never been with them. I am scared of what world will think and how my parents will react. They will probably disown me.”
The wizard’s face had gone white.
“Are you listening to me? Have water please, now you are scaring me.” I had to get this over with, so I continued, “so when I saw you, because you are twins there was so much resemblance that I couldn’t stop myself from talking to you. I thought if I got to know you, I would get to know her, I know it was wrong. But I did it. And I like men too. So somewhere along the way I fell for you too. But you reminded me so much of her and she was around so much, that after a while I realized I couldn’t do this to myself and ofcourse it was never fair on you. I felt like a horrible person. So I ended it before I hurt you and me further and started seeing the guy from office because I needed to get her out of my system. I am not ready to face the world with my secret. I am not. I don’t have those guts. So I had to do it. I know it sounds sick and is probably a little sick, me liking your sister. But trust me I never meant it, you know how the heart works, one has no control over it. I wish I..”
“Stop,” the wizard cut me off and put his hand on my knee. “Enough. It’s okay. What you did was wrong and you are right, a little sick. But more than anyone else I know what it is like to want to keep a secret so bad even though you hate not being able to be who you are infront of the entire world. So I get it. But I just can’t look at you or talk to you anymore. You did hurt me. It helps to know your reasons but it also makes me feel sick. Sorry. I need to leave, will take care of the bill inside. Bye. Have a nice life.”
The wizard got up and left without making any scene. I didn’t try to stop him. I was done acting. If we carried on a little longer I would get so carried away that I would start crying and get passionate about my bisexual story.
Ahhhh! The sweet smell of freedom from ex. I looked at my watch, it was only 9PM on a beautiful Saturday night and the hookah was still pretty much going. Time to call the hottie and spice it up. Men! They can be such suckers. I gotta a feeling that tonight’s going to be a good night~
